To date, the creature's done et w/o authorization:

-the better part of a dozen rolls of toilet paper

-one paycheck

-one lightbulb

-two pairs flip-flops

-approx. 268 low-introductory-rate APR offers

-one quarter each of two pairs fancy running shoes (Brit: "trainers")

-two hairbrushes

-the edge of some clogs (1 rubber, 1.5 leather)

-toilet brush (we keep her out of the bathroom now)

-one gallon glass milk jug

-one month's birth control pills

-issue #13 of Lazlo Letters rip Rich Mackin's Book of Letters zine

-stick of roll-on deodorant

-tamale

-hotdog out of this guy Dan's hand

-old pizza crust in a parking lot

-litter-encrusted cat shit (any chance)

-9v car lighter AC adapter

-2m phone cord

-towels and blankets that make up her bed: 3 sets

-stuffed animals beyond reckoning

-Ken Rank's business card (golf clubs, Shaumburg)

-2 pair headphones

-plastic tumbler

-clothes pin

-six sponges

-3 pair dishwater gloves

-6-12 tampons, new and used

-pot-holder w/ subtle xmas theme (stuffing only)

-and all the things on the sidewalk that just defy categorization

Colin Murphy hoards items of curiosity to dwarves. He may be contacted: murco@core.com. His work has been featured in THE2NDHAND¹s Broadsides #1 & #3. Please visit him there.