THE AXL ROSE ANECDOTE: A LOGIC PUZZLE
The anxious group at Table 37 nearly overwhelmed Lenora Key on her first night waiting tables at Crossman Lodge. The middle-aged woman, with a smoker's cough and "Thanks y'all" manners, was not prepared for the experience of serving the four diners -- members of a single-parent support group -- who sat in a different seat when she brought the soup, again when she served the main course, and once more when she wheeled out the dessert cart. None of the guests sat in the same seat twice.
From the clues provided below, determine the seat (Chairs 1-4) in which each person (Nora Busby, Irena Wormwood, Strong Adkins and Hosea Davis) sat for the soup, entree and dessert courses.
1. Strong Adkins, who is better looking than Hosea Davis, did not sit in Chair 4 for the entree or dessert course, nor did he shovel down his entree in Chair 1.
2. Irena Wormwood, who told the charming story about meeting Axl Rose at a wine tasting, ate neither her soup nor her entree in Chair 1. She did, however, mention that she'd left her three-year-old at home alone, locked in the bathroom.
3. When Lenora Key served the entrees, plates balanced on her hairy forearms, Nora Busby was in Chair 2 pressing the tines of her fork into her own fleshy thigh. Nora later gave up the spot to Hosea Davis for the dessert course.
4. The man who hated Irena Wormwood's new perm because it reminded him of cotton candy, which nauseates him, was served dessert in Chair 1.
5. Nora Busby, whose daughter eerily resembles Dwight Eisenhower, was not the diner who interrupted dessert by rising, pointing to Strong Adkins, and screaming, "Must everything somehow tie into your collection of butterfly figurines?" But she did sit in Chair 4 for dessert.
6. Hosea Davis, who sat in Chair 1 for the entree, was not the diner who told the one about the giraffe walking into a bar, but he did laugh heartily, spitting half-chewed lemon chicken across the table.
7. The woman who had been drinking since noon sat in Chair 3 for dessert and kept asking Hosea Davis if he thought she was pretty.
8. The woman who slurped her soup in Chair 2 and who didn't get the giraffe-walks-into-a-bar joke until she was in the car on the way home, has a spot on her lung that doctors won't detect until it's too late.
9. The man with dried toothpaste on his tie and lipstick smeared on the fly of his pants sat in Chair 2 for dessert, using his pie plate for an ashtray and thinking about his ex-wife, who he is sleeping with on the sly.
Stumped? If you're skipping this puzzle because you're just too stupid, or you're sleepy or you're drunk and your old lady's left you and the last thing you can wrap your beer-soaked brain around is a logic puzzle, visit http://www.the2ndhand.com for the answer key.
And so you have. We here at THE2NDHAND like to pride ourselves on full disclosure, i.e. we don't much care for the long-prevailing tendency of, for instance, people at parties and/or conventions, people running some sort of business, to flirt around the point, evade the decision, the answer, as most things are answerable, but then there are indeed certain other variables (indistinct vagaries, foul balls, etc...) often to take into account in every situation, so maybe we are acting at least partly wrong-headed, as my kinfolk would say, in making this statement. Nonetheless, as promised, your answer key is here.