Home | Archive | Itineraries | Events | FAQ | Columns/Links
Advertise | Newsletter | About/Subscribe | Submissions | Art Walk | Books | THE2NDHAND Writers Fund

**PRINT: FRIENDS FROM CINCINNATI: Installment 24 features this part coming-of-age short by Chicago's Patrick Somerville, author of the Trouble collection of shorts out in 2006. | PAST BROADSHEETS |

Back to Archive Index

Todd Dills

I cannot hear the birds chirping, for today I am again the Candidate, as follows....


CAND: Candidate for the position of Assistant to the Director of Traffic Control, Bureau of Streets and Sanitation, City of Chicago, a male of perhaps 28 years old, shaggy-haired and short, wearing a pressed business outfit.

DIRE: Director of Traffic Control, Department of Streets and Sanitation, City of Chicago, a man of perhaps sixty years, maybe more, and who can only be described as burly: thick, grey Ditka mustache, wire-framed spectacles, salt-and-pepper buzz-cut head of hair--fat as a turd.

CAND: Hello.

DIRE: So who are you, then?

CAND: I am the candidate.

DIRE: What makes you so confident?

CAND: I stand in traffic. Daily.

DIRE: Well, don't we all. This city's got some fucking problems, that's sure.

CAND: Rats.

DIRE: Tell me about it. You wouldn't believe the sight of the garbage bin out in my alley.

CAND: Oh, but I would.

DIRE: Well get the fuck out of here.

CAND: Okay.